I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
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U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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