is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
