Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Randomize