When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
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I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize