she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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