I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize