She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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