the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How external is "for external use only"?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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