He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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