I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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