i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
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So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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