I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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