it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize