so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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