I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize