Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
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I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think your dad took our porno
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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