College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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