He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hungover. No words. Just memes.