ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.