Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing