I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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