Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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