Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
