So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
