A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
