She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
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I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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