i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
