I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
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