I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
