Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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