So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize