we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
cat food counts as protein by the way
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
