RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize