i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
