Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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