I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
