you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
