why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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