12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN