I'm drive I can fine osifer
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.