Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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