it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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