Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
