i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
