This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
