I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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