i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The adults are the big ones right?
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