I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
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I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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