the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
