We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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