hotel room ftw
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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