Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?