Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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